


Under Orders

by Davechicken



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: (Yes that means crack), Holy workplace sexual harassment Batman, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-02
Updated: 2017-04-02
Packaged: 2018-10-14 04:47:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10529259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Davechicken/pseuds/Davechicken
Summary: Snoke sends Kylo on a 'special mission'. Hux.





	

“General.”  


“…is there… something wrong?”  


“Not at all.”  


“So you see nothing wrong at all with this present… scenario?”  


Kylo rolls his shoulders, and wow, those shoulders go on forever.

“I’m here to assist you.”  


“And what, precisely, could be made better by… by… Ren, you _do_ know it’s customary to wear clothes, yes? I know this seems like a bit of an elementary question, but your current… okay, _put your hand back_ …”  


The Knight shrugs, and puts the model Starkiller in front of his groin out of courtesy. “I couldn’t find anything informative, so I had to watch holos for ideas.”

“Had to… you watched porn? For… _what_ , precisely?”  


“The Leader remarked you were under a lot of stress, and he strongly suggested I help you reduce it.”  


“I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but _stripping naked and lying on my desk does not reduce my levels of stress_.”  


“I left my helmet on. The Agony Aunt columns said–”  


“They weren’t talking about _actual_ helmets, you dunce, but barriers for intercourse!”  


“…wouldn’t a barrier be a bad thing?”  


Hux sighs, and walks over to Kylo’s clothes. He grabs the ragged cloak, and throws it at his (admittedly very nice) torso. “I don’t think he meant for you to - I hesitate to call this seduction… maybe he meant you were to actually pull your weight and stop undermining me in command meetings?”

“No. Definitely sex. Meetings are boring.”  


“And why would you even _think_ I would ever agree to sex with _you_?”  


Kylo’s eyes slide down Hux’s front. “I can read minds. And… pants.”

Hux yelps, and puts both palms over his crotch. “Get out. Get out at _once_.”

“So… raincheck?”  


“NOT UNLESS YOU EVER LEARN SOME MANNERS AND HOW TO HOLD A MATURE AND SENSIBLE CONVERSATION. WITH CLOTHES ON.”  


“I’ll take that as a ‘maybe’,” Kylo replies, and sheepishly pulls everything back on. “And for the record: I know you want me.”  


Hux puts his hand on his blaster. “Get. Out.”

A grin, and Kylo swaggers away. Hux can’t work out if he’s evil, insane, or both. (And he does have a nice– NO. No, penis, no.)

(Maybe just one last look at his ass as he walks out. Couldn’t hurt, right?)

Kylo catches him watching, and Hux hates him with ever fiber in his being. Twice.


End file.
